Am I'm still in you life anymore? Or are we slowly drifting apart from each other? Are you the same person I thought I knew? Or has anything happen between us that made us like this right now?
Cause it seem like we've change. Like we've grown out from each other. We no longer need each others guidance, advice nor support. No longer feeling the need to call or to meet. What happened between us I wonder.
I know. I know that college has changed me. Changed me into something I'm used to be. But that doesn't mean I'm changing for the worse. Sure I've been busy & I admit that. College is stressful & I don't know why but I still don't feel the fun or enjoy being in college or having a college life yet. Though everybody around me seems to be enjoying it even though its stressful to them as well.
I'm sure people would think I'm such a weakling. Always saying that college is stressful & that I still can't cope with it even though I'm already in my second sem & is about to end this sem next month. Well maybe I am? Part if me thinks so too. But I know that that's not the real reason.
Won't be writing down the real reason here though. Whatever it is that you guys think it is is fine with me. I don't really mind what you guys think of me anyway. I'm sick of you guys trying to tell me what to do about my life. Telling me that I'm dumb or why I didn't do this or why I didn't do that when something is already happened & that you know I can't turn back the time to make something right again. Ahh whatever...
If this is how you want it to be, that we only talk when we need to talk, to only meet when we need each other, to only help when needed a hand, I don't know how long I'll be able to hold on to this relationship. But one things for sure is that I'll try my very best to give you my best effort when you need me to. Cause no matter what is it I still care for you & that's a fact I can never change.
I hope you know what I'm trying to say cause I know I'm not very good with words. & if this is why I think you're avoiding me for, I apologize for having you be that way. I don't want to be the reason you have to go around & not being able to do your usual stuffs simply because I was there blocking your way. I just want you to know that you are still very important in my life & you are still a part of it & only time can change that thought if we still continue being like this. I can only hope you are feeling the same way as I do.
*****
Remember the presentation that I said I'm not done with last night? Well I emailed it to my college mate before I went to bed cause she said she would be arriving early to coll tomorrow so I figured that she would be able to continue or at least do some of what I had left off. Who knows, when I reach coll I had to rush up to the library & pursued her to attend class as she was planning to skip it to finish up our report.
You don't expect me to let her suffer doing the assignment all by herself while I'm attending class & having my prefect attendance record still be prefect do you? Well no way on earth would I let that happen. so I dragged her down with me to class & it was like 5 minutes before class starts. Whew.. =_="
We hurried to the library after our lunch & started rushing to finish up as we have 3 hours of break before class starts which is at 3pm. Gosh it was madness I tell ya. We both worked our ass off trying to look for information to copy (LOL) & not to mention the problem we had with the page arrangement & also she had to redo the table of content as it was empty when she emailed me the copy. WhattheF right.. =_="
& we also rushed to finish off the PowerPoint which truthfully speaking, I just simply did that & I have to apologize for rushing on that. Causing us to look like we had not enough information during our presentation. Sigh.. But honestly, I actually had fun doing all these last minute work. It's like so challenging & fun of excitement! =D Though I do not wish to have to go through this again. Once is enough for me.
& we were actually 45 minutes late for class & we had our other group member who was in class at the time to miss call us when our lec was in. Luckily he was teaching when he went in. & at that when he was in class we were already doing our slides by then & so we after we finished up we rushed down to class. We only did the presentations later after the break he gave & we were suppose to be the first group to present so we were uber lucky to reach in time for our presentation. =DD
Oh yea Judy's pendrive & Rm20 got stolen by some no-good-theft who looked through & dig into our bags. Which all the students are suppose to put their bags in the lockers provided outside of the library. But I don't really understand why Judy left her purse & pendrive in her bag today cause she usually takes them out with her? But no point questioning her that now cause it'll only make her even more angry & frustrated about it. So I borrowed her RM20 without even saying a word. Figured she might need it just in case something happens.
Went to check on my own belongings as well after she told me & Jihan that. Upon turning to the lockers corner I saw that most of the locker doors are already opened up including mine. But luckily nothing was lost from my bag cause I took out everything that was important out of my bag & took it with me to the library. =)) But I think this time I'll be extra careful about what I put in the locker. Think I'll be bringing a lockpad to coll tomorrow.
So I helped Judy make a report with the office over there & they said that there's a CCTV over there but I don't think there will be a chance where we'll find out who the culprit is cause college's security & safety systems suck. =_="
Oh yea & I just got a text from Grace telling all of us she won't be attending college for the next few days cause she got into an accident & that she can't move her hand. Which I find it weird since she's able to text us all telling us to inform the lecs for her. Hope she gets better after getting an x-ray & a few stitches from the hosp.
That's it for today. Such a long update. Off to bed now cause I'll be waking up at 9am tomorrow. Oyasuminasai! =)
