♥Friday, April 3, 2009
3th of April
Who are you to me? I feel like I don't know you anymore. You used to be so fun to be with. Someone I could just hang out & talk a bunch of craps without feeling like I'm saying something wrong or somebody I could laugh at myself with without feeling embarrassed or tell you my secrets without worrying if you would think of me differently after you knew.
But after last year I somehow noticed that you've change. It seems like you're starting to want more of me. Asking for more special treatment. Am I wrong? Do you think the way I think about you now is all wrong? Well prove to me what I'm thinking now is wrong cause honestly, I'm no longer feeling comfortable when I talk to you online or any type of texting involved.
Unless its talking to you face to face that I don't mind. Cause somehow when we talk like that you won't change yourself & you'll still act like how you used to. All shy & funny & joke a lot like how you used to when we were together. But now? You seem to be asking more of me. More of the so call 'special treatments' of whatever you call it. You think we're not that close anymore if I didn't write like how I use to write or if I didn't talk sweetly or whatever shit.
Isn't that a bit asking too much of me? Its just like if I always use to say bye at you & if suddenly I don't think its necessary to say bye to you anymore cause I think since we know each other for so long & we're so close that you would have know & understand by now that I would mean bye even if I didn't tell you the word 'bye'?
Seriously, do I need to repeat myself every single time when we chat & talk? & if I didn't do it that would mean that I've change? Are you out of your mind? Does that even make sense! That's kinda dumb right? Whatthef I don't even know how easy this is to understand & yet I have to explain it to you in the most simplest way. Or rudely speaking its just cause you want me to explain it properly & clearly cause you want me to say it out to you so that you would feel better about yourself cause you're desperate for the attention & you just want a conformation from me when deep down we both know that you know what I mean. C'mon la dude. Don't try to play a fool & act dumb. We both know you aren't okay..
& another thing, you wanna know why I don't wanna treat you like now I used to? its cause I think you're just toooo sensitive sometimes. When I treat you slightly different or treat you nicely for certain times you would expect that kind of treatment the next time or future days. That's already asking too much of me kay? So I don't really dare to treat you 'specially' anymore.
I mean for what? I am in no position to treat you the way you want me to anyway. You want that kind of treatment? Go ask your gf to treat you anyway you want her to. Don't come to me & complaint to me trying to make me feel guilty asking why did I not treat you like that anymore & say it like I'm wrong when I clearly am not.
& the truth is, I don't actually need to treat you nicely at all! I can treat you anyway I want to badly or nicely for all I care. But no I didn't right? I treat you nicely & talk to you properly & yet you still had the nerve to say we're not close anymore & I've change? Yo bro, the one changing is you. I'm still the same in anyway I am when I'm with you. You somehow are trying to upgrade your status in the relation while I'm just trying to stay in the same level like before & trying to tell you where your position is suppose to be.
So please try to understand that I still treat you like a good friend & nothing is gonna change that unless you yourself did okay? Don't try to ask for more if not we might just be like normal hi & bye friends & don't come & complaint to me by then why did our relationship be like that cause then don't be so surprise to me hear say "Its all your fault".
Anyway I hope you would understand this & I don't mean to offend you in anyway & I'm sorry if I am but I'm just merely trying to express my own feelings towards this case we have & I still wish you the best of luck in your life & I hope that we would still hang out like how we used to.
I hope that you would realise that I still treat you the same & still adore you dearly. So don't take it at heart of what I said here. Just understand that this is how I feel. =)
even robots need love/@4:06 PM
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