♥Tuesday, March 17, 2009
17th of March
I worry too much.
I worry I might offend people's feelings so I mostly keep my feelings to myself.
I worry that I might bother other people with my problems when they have their own problems to worry.
I don't know why but every time or everything I try to do I do it the best I can but it almost always never ended in a good ending like I always thought it would.
I always am a lazy person but I'll always do my best when it involves somebody else in the problem.
I wish to change myself. Change to be more stronger and more persistent. To be selfish and independent. I say what I mean & mean what I say. To do what I think and plan what to do. I'm sick of feeling helpless and always thinking & regretting why did I do this or why did I do that already. What happen to me suddenly being so emo you wonder?
Hahaa.. Reality finally checked in I guess. As much as I try to be what I wanna be & believe in what I want so much to believe. Time & time again reality took down my image of a world I thought was suppose to exist. Damn.. I gotta learn how to be more cruel. Seriously if I keep living in Dreamland I don't know how I will be able to survive in the future.
But one part of me is still wishing for me to stay true to what I believe. & thats what I like about myself. Is that all these years & through all the dramas I've been through, I still am me. I still don't treat people differently. I still care for people's feelings. I still gave second chances. I still am friendly to the people around me. I still believe in what I believe.
Maybe I'm naive maybe I'm dumb or better yet maybe I'm just so darm stupid but who cares? At least I don't try to act around being somebody I'm not & at least I still give my heart out no matter what I'm doing.
& writing this post makes me feel better about myself. & you know what?
Maybe I should just stick being what I'm always good at. =)
Being me♥
even robots need love/@12:42 AM
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